Cute Heart Warming Goodness of Cuteness

Cute Heart Warming Goodness of Cuteness

Friendships (by Monique)

I have mentioned that I don't write enough for this blog. That is true! The biggest reason I guess is defining what I'm going to write for this one, and what I'm going  to write for my personal one. I think I figured it out this week through a conversation with Jenny.

We were talking this week about living our lives, and how we have to rely on each other instead of the rest of the world. The three of us have been through some pretty horrific shit, but what we have in common is that we want to be defined by our own terms and not by the things that happened to us. We're not crazy, not stupid, not dumb or ignorant. We take responsibility for our own recoveries, and that means we are going to know our limitations better than anyone else.

This scares the general public sometimes. People really like us and want to protect us from ourselves. While the three of us are very much social butterflies, we are going to push ourselves to the limit of what we can do whether you like it or not. This doesn't mean we're going to overdo it or be unreasonable. This means that we're going to continue to challenge ourselves to be the best we can be.

And it has worked  for us. Maybe this is the part that people don't understand. Doctors told Amy she wouldn't be able to bend her knee again. If Amy didn't take charge of her own life, she wouldn't be running now. It's not that the doctors were stupid, it's just that she knows her injuries better than even they do. She didn't overdo it, she just learned her injury so well that she persisted until she overcame it. She still has problems with her arm - I'm not saying that Everything can be healed, but she has done better than anyone thought possible because she took control.
Jenny's still in the gym. I'm walking, and am continuing to regain more than anyone thought possible.
I'm not kidding, we ALL are doing more than anyone thought possible. Not because we're miracles, but because we stay focused on what's important.

But I gotta tell you, when I'm unsure about things, be it my injury or my life, I turn to these girls. They trust me completely that I know my life and am doing the best I can. They'll let me know if something I'm doing is dumb and I trust that. But they don't arbitrarily tell me I can't do things or that I'm pushing too hard. And that's what Jenny and I were talking about. We rarely need feedback from anyone, but when we do, we can trust each other to believe in ourselves instead of others who sometimes react in their own fear for us. Heck I'm actually in a crazy whirlwind of emotions right now and not sure what path to take or who I can really trust, if things are really believable, but just talking to Jenny grounds me enough to remember I can trust myself. Life isn't always straightforward with a clear path but I'd rather live it than wait around to die. My choices may not always be the safest, but they're always what's best for me. If I need to talk something out to understand it better, I do it with these girls because I know they're not going to limit me or tell me to stop. They'll help me figure it out in my head to continue making the best choices I can make for me.

So that's what this blog is going to be about for me - the people in my life that have helped me not by being controlling, but by being a good resource.

Sometimes when God closes a door, he nails the windows closed too!

     

Hi everyone...I want to apologize for my unexpected hiatus! After the last court date I wanted to take a week or two off to gather my composure and get a clearer picture of things, then I had some unforeseen health issues come up. With all that behind me, I wanted to tell you what I've learned, because I was delightfully surprised to find that something could actually be gleaned from all this!

     First, I was completely disgusted with the sentence given to Derek Perilloux, the man who nearly killed my daughter and myself because he chose to drive with a blood alcohol content of 0.16. House arrest is too good for a man who inflicted over $1,000,000 in insurance costs alone, not including my $45,000 vehicle he totaled and taking my nursing career from me! So, I thought..."what would be enough? Would ANYTHING really hurt as bad as the pain he's caused us?!?"... I decided there was NOTHING that could do that!!! No earthly sentence will ever do justice to the pain this man has caused my daughter, my family, my very LIFE! So, to him I say "karma is a BITCH! You'll get yours and no court, no victim like myself will have to make her impact statement to ensure your punishment".

     I didn't reach those conclusions easily. I went home from court that day completely disgusted. How could this happen?!? Why wasn't a harsher sentence imposed?As a person who always looks for the "signs" around me, I couldn't understand what could possibly be learned by all this! After weeks of deliberation, I came to one conclusion: this wasn't God's punishment, but that of a court filled with flawed, imperfect humans imposing what THEY thought was "good enough". Why wasn't God there to let me know things would be worked out somehow, some way? Because sometimes, we have to go on blind faith. We can't have the answers all the time, that would be too neat, too tidy. Sometimes shit happens, and you just need to hang on for dear life with all you have and trust that even though you have no control over the circumstances, things WILL even out in the end.

     Needless to say, I didn't wanna accept this. I felt so alone, so deserted. So many of you have told me how strong you think I am, how "inspirational" my story is. I wasn't feeling inspirational...I felt like a failure. I'm a control freak who has to have everything just so. Things and people outta my hands make me uneasy. Then, it dawned on me...maybe that was why I had the accident to begin with. Sometimes things, people we love, need to be taken from us, because they aren't right for us, and maybe so we know how much we can handle on our own, how strong we are. Without coming out of our "bubbles of comfort", we never truly know what we can do.

     You've heard people say "Sometimes, when God closes a door, he opens a window"? After these last few weeks, I say "sometimes God slams the door in your face and nails any possible alternative exits closed to prevent any hope of possible escape from the shitty clusterfuck in which you find yourself!!!"! You're stuck like chuck and MUST accept that which you naturally resist! Now, this is the part where everything came together for me! I felt alone, "woe is me, it sucks to be me sometimes".  Then, I naturally thought back on other difficult moments in my life, to remember how I got through...times where I only THOUGHT it sucked to be me because of surrounding conditions, but have been lucky enough to work through. I concluded that sometimes, when God locks me up to swallow my medicine, he gives me amazing people to help me through! I suddenly realized that all those times I thought I was alone when I was younger, I had my parents, big sisters and big brother to guide me through. In grammar school and high school, I had my best friend, Lizzie, to pull me through. Sometimes, after I got sick with my autoimmune disease then had my accident, when I had to have surgery after surgery, I had Jen to cheer me up and 
make me step back to see how lucky I am that my heart works the ways it's supposed to! And when it seemed that my family and friends were out of reach, I had my fiancé, and the best man I've ever known, Kevin, holding my hand through it all. I've also had all of you, telling me how brave I am. But, I want you to know,  I'm not brave, just extremely hard-headed and incredibly blessed with people who love me enough to make sure I get through it all! 

       The conclusion? No matter how our situations differ, just about all of us are lucky enough to have a handful of people we can always count on. We are never REALLY alone. Life sucks and, inevitably, we will all, at some time or another, feel that we are alone. It might seem we've somehow been foresaken, but even  windows that are nailed shut aren't shatter proof! It's just a matter of having people who love you enough, know you well enough, to help you break through them! When caged like an animal, fight back like one! Thanks to my awesome family, best friends-Liz and Jen, and especially my sweet angel, Kevin...and to all of you, without whom none of these important lessons could be learned! I love you all!!!

Monique, Etc

It's Wednesday afternoon, and Our Heroine is Proudly Watching her amazing Son train for swimming races. She has this week Conquered Setbacks, overcome Adversity, and has braved Many New Experiences. She has Relearned how to continue Forward and not be held back by the Chaotic nature of Life. She says, "Nolite Le Bastardes Carborundum!"

If it can happen to us, it can happen to you!!! Please, please READ THIS, and send any and ALL suggestions to me!!!!

       When someone else's irresponsible choices hurt you, or nearly kill you, you should be allowed to have some closure. You should be allowed to rebuild your life as best you can with the pieces you have left. On December 31, 2011, My daughter and I were hit in a head-on collision by a drunk driver named Derek Wade Perilloux. He had a BAC of 0.16; 0.08 is considered intoxicated. 

       At the last court date, the judge told him he would receive 5 yrs., 4 yrs of which would be suspended, and one year which had to be served in jail. Today,  however, he received one year house arrest, 3 or 4 yrs. of probation, and $1000 restitution for the over $900,000 of surgeries I've received over the last year and a half. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! This man has had 4-5 DUIs, but was allowed to plead an article that reduced the charges, so his insurance wasn't informed of his many, many indiscretions. He was also charged with drug paraphernalia possession in 2010, which has somehow gone missing from his record as of today???

        What happened to my daughter and myself can happen to YOU and YOUR CHILD!!! Please imagine for a moment, that this accident had happened to you. You've had 14 surgeries over the last year and a half, you've lost your car and your job as a registered nurse because a drunk driver drove into your lane and hit you head-on. You are struggling financially with the mess that someone else's life choices brought into your life!!! You've lost your home, and your 3 children have been yanked from the only private school they've ever known, to attend public schools because you've lost your job and can't afford their tuition. My life as I knew it, is over. This man was not made to serve ANY jail time for this crime. This was not a victimless crime!!! I've gone to every court appearance to advocate for my daughter and myself, so our story could be told, and this man could be taken off the streets. He doesn't deserve to drive or have a license. He shouldn't e allowed to move on with life as usual...I can't, and my daughter can't!!! 

       The judge told him at the last court appearance that he had to serve one year jail time. Today, however, when it was announced he would serve one year house arrest, the assistant DA said nothing to correct it. She stood by, knowing fully well that the judge had said he must serve one year, and did not remind her of that fact. Instead, she stood by while the judge mistakenly charged him with one year house arrest. You are not immune to these events. They can happen to you, especially now that he'll be out on the streets again. The assistant DA did not advocate for my daughter and me, and I will do all I can to ensure that the BAR association is made aware of her misconduct. If anyone has any ideas or comments that might help, please, please email me!!! We must do something to make these people accountable for their actions, or this could all happen to you!!!

Monique- L8 on my post! - Friday Update, and Mr. Percy

The link: Friday Update, and Mr. Percy

It was rough to write, it'll probably be rough to read.

ALSO, there's THIS EVENT that is about running the NOLA RnR Half Marathon (or full if you prefer!) with me next year. Lafayette's also doing it 's first annual marathon a month after, so either one!

Have an awesome week!