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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Jenny-When the heart breaks it don't break even...Dedicated to Dr. Mehdi Razavi

My celebration of being one year post open heart.  This post is dedicated to Dr. Mehdi Razavi.

Dr. Mehdi Razavi

Play this while you read please.... Because I like to be more be more complicated than necessary. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsk3irwOjSk

Because (when the hearts breaks it don't break even) is kinda my life story.....Do you ever walk past someone and wonder what their life is like, what challenges they face? I wonder if people appreciate their lives and what each of us have been given.  When I hear people complain I think, do they know what they have?  Do they value their life, their ability to breathe, to have a working heart? My wish is that all of us love more, spread joy, that we support each other as people, as parents, and as a nation.

I have so much to celebrate! WHOOOOO HOOOO! A YEAR SINCE MY OPEN HEART!

Ava and Mason at her 7th birthday party.  I MISSED her birthday last year.

Wow, time flies.  A year ago I had open heart surgery and I was so ill I couldn't walk to the surgery holding area. It was in those last quiet moments with Jeremy not knowing if I would wake up after open heart.  What do you even say to the person who has loved you and you have been with for 14 years? I was praying by some miracle I would see my kids grow up.  I was hoping I would survive.  Instead, I walked 2 miles in the Cardiac unit 2 days after open heart.  I had a new lease on life.  Gosh, my expectations were blown away. Not only can I walk one year later, I can run again.  What you didn't know was that I worked so hard after the surgery because one of my best friends, Monique (and fellow blog writer) had been hit by a car while training for a marathon and had a broken neck in the ICU and I wanted to get back to her in Louisiana, and to get back to my little family in Texas. So I was properly motivated to fight!

I have spent the past year meeting fantastic people who are true survivors, who motivate me to keep...doing...more.  I'm in the process of training to become a volunteer for WomenHeart, our local heart support organization.  We meet with heart patients and their families and support them on their journeys.  To be healthy and to help other people is a dream fulfilled for me.  In the meantime, I'm staying very busy helping patients all over the world, online.

I know nothing in life is a given.  I cry every time after I get my kids home after each surgery.  I love to listen to them laugh.  To hear their feet running upstairs with them never knowing what we went through to get them safely with a heart patient mom.  Everything seems so much sweeter now.  I can even sing again, because have enough air in my lungs that I have a voice again.  Truly remarkable year.  I choose not to focus on the challenges we have faced this year, but to celebrate our future as a family.  We are amazingly blessed. Exceedingly lucky.

I've had some setbacks too.  Mostly because I'm still working on learning my limits. Because I feel so much better than I have in years that I forget to stop.  Contrary to popular belief, I know I am not Wonder Woman. But I'm still young and want to live the fullest, most beautiful life that I can. I want to run more 5K's and spend the rest of my life appreciating (and using) my rebuilt heart.  It's a well known thing that heart patients go through so much emotional turmoil with these surgeries.  We know the future is not promised.  So we enjoy life a little bit more, we love a little harder, and we celebrate our victories no matter how small.  Because these stairs, they are mine now!

We all have our challenges, this one is mine!! Being able to climb the stairs!
I started last week unsure of what would happen, or what my future was going to hold.  I spent 3 days in the hospital unsure I'd be able to climb these when I got home. It might seem little to some people but these stairs WERE something that was extremely difficult for me. (Kind of a symbol of success for me.) I got my pacemaker fixed last week and now these stairs are easy again! When faced with challenges I always try to focus on the good things all of us have been given. No matter, what the situation I encourage all of you to find SOMETHING good to focus on. Something to celebrate.

Adults never notice ladybugs because we're too busy looking up.  Children appreciate all the little things we walk past everyday. Kiss your children more often, tell them just how amazing they are, because we only get ONE life. So forgive me for being sappy.  I'm just so damn happy.

I'm made it through this year actually passing EKG's for the first time in my life, I can play soccer with my kids, I can be a dependable mom and wife because of this man.  I am in such shock that he was even willing to treat me, much less get me to this point in a year.  I showed up at his office because another doctor didn't have any idea how to fix me.  I am going to be here for birthdays, holidays, vacations.  I'll be able to see my children start families of their own one day. Something unfathomable for me to imagine last year when I was so tired I could no longer walk, or speak most of the time.

This extraordinary doctor below took me on (even though my case was extremely difficult.)  He was the ONLY Cardiologist I have ever seen that said he could fix me.   He knew the things I didn't say, he saw the frustration in my face, he saw that if given the chance I could have an amazing future.  This is Dr. Mehdi Razavi, my Electro Physiology/Superhero Cardiologist doc and the man challenged with my crazy heart.  Thank you for taking me on and seeing a future for me that I could not imagine. Thank you for giving me more time with my family and for always being there when I need your help.  Because no one thinks the way you do.  You are stuck with me forever.  Congratulations!


A year of healing, a year of gratefulness, a year of seeing my children grow, of appreciating every breath. Thank you Dr. Razavi for saving my life. I was born with a heart I could not use and you built me a heart that couldn't be stopped. Every good thing I do for the world or every great experience I will every have is BECAUSE OF YOU. Because you cared enough to do the impossible. Thank you for never giving up on me. Impossible for me to thank you enough. Yes, I stole your picture from the internet. :)



Thank you for fixing my whole heart because when it breaks it doesn't break even.

Jenny








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