Jenny- I found my Kryptonite....

So I thought I was all cool and stuff.  Until I accidentally almost killed myself by brushing my teeth.  True story.. I totally un-Super-maned myself. (No, you are right that's not really a word. Thanks but I'm going to use it anyway.). Go ahead and get on your comfy pants. Yes, the ones with holes, that are stretched out so much no one can read the words on your butt.  (Why do people wear words on their butt? If I did wear words on my butt they'd probably say STOP LOOKING AT MY BUTT.)

Anyway, I was feeling all badass because I've been working out everyday and playing soccer for an entire hour.  Then I brushed my teeth.  How could that be dangerous you ask?  Well, apparently you can't use a Soniccare electric toothbrush when you have a pacemaker.  Oops. Big oops.  Instantly couldn't breathe, brought myself down to the floor. Massive chest pains. Then realized it was the damn toothbrush.  Jeremy was there to witness this unfortunately so I couldn't even pretend I totally didn't just accidentally almost break my new heart because of a toothbrush. No one is bad ass that can be crippled by their love of dental health.  So I guess I'm going have to re-establish myself as semi-badass. Until someone busts out an electric toothbrush.  Stay away ya'll. Don't come show me your cool new phone until you are safely 10 inches from me.  Ha Ha. Because I will totally Matrix you and do the whole weird leaning back thing if you are trying to kill me.

So I may have found my Kryptonite.  (Thanks for the word Chris!) But other than than that I have been doing amazing. Like normal people amazing.  If normal people run from toothbrushes and lawn equipment I guess. (Just make me feel better and tell me you do too.) I've been cooking, being a mom, and I can officially run faster than the children.  Which is awesome.  (Because I can't beat grown people by out running them-yet.) I added a new workout this week. Swimming.  My left arm is still weaker than my right from having it tied down for a month.  So I'm working on it.  Unfortunately my constant arm stretching at the gym has led a lot of people to think I am waving to them.  I'm either am going to have a lot of new friends soon or people are going to start talking about me. I'm just going to go with it and pretend I'm waving so OTHER people don't get embarrassed.

I love new people in the gym. I was listening to my gansta rap and jamming out on the elliptical (Don't judge me.) when I noticed new dude.  He was about to get all crazy and start screaming that NONE of the MACHINES In This AWFUL GYM ACTUALLY WORK. But little dude didn't know you have to get on the elliptical first and start moving before it will turn on.  So if you are trying to look like a gym rat this could a helpful hint for you.  Also, clean the machines when you are done.  Because you are gross if you don't and I will totally judge you. I could have watched this saga for 5 minutes but I helped him out. I should get a merit badge or something. Totally.

So I'm getting back of the swing of things and spending my days pretending to be normal and working out a lot.  I'm getting my endurance back.  I still have to wait 5 minutes in between exercises to let my bionic heart slow the hell down. So I have 5 whole minutes to pretend I'm doing something.  It's a long time.  By the way Webster's or spell check does not understand gansta rap someone should remedy this situation.  I'm so in trouble if my earbuds come out at the gym.  It's going to be awesome. Somebody suggest some things I could do for 5 whole minutes while my bionic heart takes a break.

See you people on the flip side.

Jenny